Healed!

Dear Partners in the Groff Story Journey….

We don’t even know how to say this but we are going to give you a reason to celebrate with us and that above else we need to give all glory and praise to God because…

Steve is healed!!!!

*Celebrate

Five weeks ago, Steve was told that he will never get better, he needs to accept that this is his new life and change all of his pain medications to higher levels for long-term pain management. Steve walked out of that appointment refusing to believe the doctor’s words that, ‘Only a miracle will heal you and your miracle is not coming.’ So here is the journey of the following 6 weeks after that appointment:

Week 1

-       Steve decides to hold on to God’s promise of healing and with the help of friends started to create a ‘plan’ to exercise, change nutrition and get off all pain medication. This week came with challenges but Steve began trying to walk without his cane, exercise and eat to gain weight and muscle while praying about how and when to get off all medication.

Week 2

-       Steve cut one of his pain prescriptions down to 2/3 and had a horrible bout of increased pain. Steve went to his pain management doctor who reprimanded him for trying this so suddenly and gave him referrals to hospital programs to get him off all pain medication but increased all of his medications to help with his high levels of pain.

Week 3

-       Steve grew very discouraged, tried to continue exercising but his pain levels continued to be high and the increased pain medication doses made him tired and lethargic. He began to feel defeated and wanted to give up (this week was the week his wife, me, started praying more than ever!)

Week 4

-       Steve received prayer from a volunteer with the ministry I work for and came out of it, ‘feeling different.’ His eyes even looked alert for the first time in a year and a half.  The next couple of days Steve continued to hear from the Lord, brought what he was hearing to pastors and wise counsel as I brought it to intercessors and prayer warriors. Steve made the decision to obey God’s word to stop all pain medication and other medications (expect the topamax which is a non-narcotic and is the Mayo Clinic’s treatment). Steve and I both received confirmation in miraculous ways and took the step of faith.

Week 5

-       Steve stopped all medications and experienced excruciating side-effects as he detoxed off of all medications that he had been on for over a year. It was  a lot heavier and more challenging than we had anticipated but God was faithful to what He had called us to do and brought us through it amazingly and out on the other side! There was an ER visit as Steve was severely dehydrated and he was not able to eat anything this week- lost close to 20 pounds.

TODAY

-       Steve has been walking without his cane for almost a week now, has gone a total of 14 days without any pain or other medications but continues to take topamax. Steve can eat now and is slowly trying to regain strength and energy but Steve has had none of the same pain symptoms (or any of the other symptoms!) he had for the past year and a half since that first day he stopped taking the medication in faith two weeks ago. This is the first time since October 7^th of 2010 that Steve is truly pain free!

“I feel like I have been let out of a prison or have awakened from a coma of some type,” Steve has been saying a lot this past week. We honestly have no way to explain any of this because it is all God! He is more than able to heal! He is faithful to keep His promises! We have been waiting to see what may happen but we are now accepting Steve is healed!

Celebrate with us and let’s Praise God TOGETHER!

Please Pray:

For Steve to continue to rest, rebuild strength and muscle- and to be patient in this ‘re-building process.’

For us- that we can relax and enjoy this miraculous work of healing! That God shows us where to go from here and to continue to follow His plan for us in each step of the way….

We thank you and could not have made it this past year and a half without your support! Steve says if we could see each of you, we could give you big hugs and thank you for every prayer that was said!

We are grateful to be a part of this community of love and support- namely the body of Christ!

Filled with Overwhelming JOY in Him,

 

Casey & Steve Groff

Inside This Trial

 

 Here is a poem Steve wrote creatively sharing a deeper glimpse into his experience- as he walks through this fiery trial of suffering. Please continue to pray for his strength and trust as takes steps daily towards recovery...

 

A feigned smile hides the death behind my eye.
But as an acorn must fall, before I live I must die.
Reality crashes in, violently smashing into my dreams.
Both haunt me relentlessly, clawing at my souls seams.
There's no break between the two, awake or asleep. This violent demon will stop at nothing to crush me in its teeth.
The days turn into night, and nights turn into days.
And still this bloodthirsty violence won't let me away. I've no strength to fight, so I sit and just pray.
"Oh Father give me grace to endure another day. I know you went through so much tortuous pain.
And you did it all for me, for my soul to gain.
But honestly Father I can't take one more ounce of agony.
So if at all possible let this cup pass from me."
The consuming pain continues, I used to not know why.
It's because you love me enough, I'm the apple of your eye.
I was young and stupid and I cursed you for this trial.
Now I'm burnt and battle scarred, looking back over the miles. Thank you God for teaching me suffering, now turn it around to be used for others blessing.

By Steve Groff

The Facts, The Feelings & The Faith

Casey found this the other day and thought it was only fitting to share as our 3 year anniversary is this month

THE FACTS… 

March was a busy month for us to say the least. With Casey back on campus full time doing college ministry (reaching sorority & fraternity students in North county), she traveled a lot this month and was on campus for some pretty amazing outreach events. In the midst of all that I made another trip to the Mayo Clinic on March 14 to scrap the old treatment plan, as the Botox treatment plan backfired in a bad way. This trip revealed  that the deterioration in my recovery process is all too real. Dr. Vargas validated that my increased pain levels were a result of inflammation of the shots that I had received. I came home with a plan on how to reduce the inflammation that mainly includes waiting. I received some shots from my pain management doctor that seemed to help some of the negative effects of the Botox shots, but not all of them. But for now its mainly a waiting game for the inflammation to subside on its own and for me to continue taking steps forward towards progress in my recovery. Please pray that the Lord will take the inflammation away so that I could start seeing a chiropractor, exercising and pursuing a recovery routine again. Pray also for my doctors appointment on Monday to discuss further ways to undo the damage done by this treatment.

THE FEELINGS…..

 Our family is learning how to have balance_ how do we transition out of high-intense, acute crisis back to "normal life"? Normal life that includes a slow recovery for me doesn't seem normal at all. We are learning how to ask for help, take space to rest and take one step at a time daily to find some balance. We are weary but have experienced incredible grace; grace to heal and slowly move forward. The future may seem unknown but we are clinging to the Lords as He leads us step by step. We are definitely fighting discouragement daily. We read a quote the other day that says those who enter the battle hopeless are already defeated. Please pray that our ever-changing circumstances would not touch our hope in the Lord. Casey shared at a prayer meeting this week that she feels she is on a treadmill, not moving forward, not able to stop. In prayer a friend told her that he saw us growing deeper in the Lord (Ephesians 3) which reminded us that God is still active even when we don't see or feel it.

THE FAITH….. 

We are taking steps forward in pure faith. I have been given the opportunity to go back to school in the fall by a government program designed for disabled students (students on federal disability). This is a both a scary and exciting opportunity for me and I am taking the step forward in faith. Faith that I will be able to concentrate in my classes, faith that I will continue to get stronger and healthier and faith that God will provide for all of our needs.  Please pray for us as we take these steps forward in faith not understanding what God is doing but trusting in His perfect plans for us.

This month reminds of the vows we took 3 years ago- we learn daily what it means to cherish one another...

Thank you for your Support,

Steve & Casey

Two Steps Forward... one stepback...

Some days, more often than not, recovery feels like two steps forward and one step backwards. We had somewhat anticipated this but have been struggling as Steve has been feeling worse lately and our situation seems to be getting more difficult. Steve did receive the botox shots at his last visit to the Mayo Clinic, close to 3 weeks ago. Unfortunately the shots did not help Steve’s pain, in fact in the past few weeks his progress has deteriorated. Steve has been in increased pain, having to increase his pain medications and even go into the pain clinic for pain shots last week. Exercise, rehabilitation, weight-gaining diet and chiropractic care has all been put on hold as his pain levels increase and his energy decreases. We have tried hard to make space for him to simply rest, which has been a challenge to us both. The Mayo Clinic had sent Steve home after receiving the botox shots close to 3 weeks ago with hope he would experience significant decrease in his pain levels and scheduled for him to return in 3 months to evaluate his progress and receive round two of botox shots. However, Steve’s increase in pain and decrease in overall health these past few weeks has the doctor very concerned. He has asked for Steve to return to the Mayo Clinic March 14^th to create an entirely new treatment plan. This is obviously discouraging but all part of the recovery process. Please pray that either Steve’s body would begin to receive the positive effects of botox shots or begin to experience a decrease in pain, therefore allowing him to stay on the current treatment plan and continue to move forward.

We have also been experiencing ups and downs in financial provision- the ebb and flow it seems- as we watch God eradicate unexpected debt and then receive an uncovered hospital bill in the thousands. Fortunately one does not cancel out the other and the Lord has been pressing on us both to praise Him in everything!

“Let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise,” 

Hebrews 13:15.

We are trying to be obedient and thank Him in everything. Thank Him when we don't understand. Thank Him for the steps forward and even backward. Thank Him for the things we haven’t even seen come to fruition yet. THIS is the sacrifice of continually praising God. Doing it when it doesn't make sense, when we don't want to, we are angry or weary, or we simply don't feel like it. Please stand with us, praising Him with us- we need you to help us hold up our weary arms to praise Him always!

Take a minute and listen to this song (click picture above) - THIS is helping us praise Him in everything because Our God WILL Come through ALWAYS!

Peace & Love,

Steve & Casey

Mayo Clinic: Round 4

persevere. 

We titled this Mayo Clinic Round 4 because it feels like we are in a boxing match or some type of fight. The bell has rung and we are pacing around the ring with tired legs, swollen eyes and fat lips. We are still in the fight but we are trusting the Lord to bring the victory! With that said, take a moment and praise the Lord with us as you see pictures of Steve's first time walking in the sand (without a cane_about 20-30 feet) and walking knee deep in the ocean for the first time in 17 months!

praise.

Steve and I have found this transitional place we are in very weird. It is both exciting and challenging as we are re-learning how to be married, how to dream about the future again and mainly live life in somewhat of a normal way. Although we are in a transitional place, we are waiting on the Lord for a lot of things! As I said, this is both exciting and challenging. It is exciting to see the possibilities in the future (Steve going back to school? Possibly given a grant to return to school? Different housing? More consistent income through disability?) but hard as we are in the present and recovery is not an easy road. Steve is working hard, following doctor's orders through small exercises and stretches, seeing a chiropractor weekly and going to other such appointments. This week he will be returning to the Mayo Clinic! This appointment is to track his progress on this new medication, make necessary adjustments and hopefully receive 30 botox shots_ which is a very effective treatment for severe head and neck pain as it paralyzes nerves. 

pray.

Please pray insurance approved this and that he can receive the shot treatment this week! Please pray that Dr Vargas has wisdom and discernment in treating Steve. Please also pray for the detox process that is coming in the hopefully near future to get Steve off of all of the pain medications he has been on for a year and a half_ this will be a painful process. Pray for Dr Barre as he works tirelessly on waking Steve's body up and teaching Steve how to walk again (without a cane). Lastly, please pray that long term disability coverage goes through this week! This will help us pay our bills, co-pays, the trip to the mayo clinic, perscriptions, daily living expenditures and meet immediate needs as well as help us on a monthly basis, giving Steve the time and space needed to fully recover.

Steve and I are excited to watch as the Lord brings victory and uses our story to bless and encourage others! We need to continue to let the joy of the Lord be our strength and His perfect love calm all of our fears as He spurs us on to get on with 'rebuilding the temple' (like Steve's body in recovery!).

"Now I will rescue you and make you both a symbol and a source of blessing. So don’t be afraid. Be strong, and get on with rebuilding the Temple." Zechariah 8:13b 

Peace in Him,

Casey & Steve

Keep Your Eyes on the PromisER

This photo was taken before our list trip to Arizona (Dec '11)

We have been wanting to write this update for some time now but have encountered a lot of transition and change in the new year. As I (Casey) transition back into full-time ministry with Greek InterVarsity and Steve is slowly walking down this unknown road of recovery, we have been busy- to say the least! As we mentioned in our last blog, starting the new year was challenging as our doctor told us Steve has started a 6 month journey of finding the right amounts and combinations of medication and treatments that will hopefully bring about his full healing. Steve has been on this new medication for close to 20 days and we have noticed some changes: both good and hard. Steve has been noticing less severe pain at different times throughout the day and has even ventured to try to do some yoga and stretches! Along with these small signs of improvement we have also noticed some hard side effects involving his overall concentration and awareness. This has been a new adjustment but God is showing us ways to get the support we need to work together through the hard side effects and to rejoice in the positive changes. As this has seemed a slow process and we have felt unsure venturing into a new year but not seeing any real change in our situation and circumstances (still waiting on SSI Insurance to approve or deny us) we cried out to the Lord. We feel often as lonely travelers on a difficult journey that has no end in sight but the Lord shouted at us: get your eyes off the road! Get your eyes off of your circumstances and what you do or don't see and put them on me. Yes, the Lord wants us to cling to His promises of healing but He does not want us to focus on the promises and miss out on the PromisER- Him! We went to church last week and in the sermon's notes God whispered to us: "It wont happen all at one. The fulfillment of my promise will be a process." 

The point of this message that rocked us was that Abram's role (see Genesis 15:1-21) and responcibility is to believe and trust God, his nature and action, to fulfill His promise. We cannot do it on our own! The Lord is fighting for us and walks with us through this fiery affliction! Steve and I have faith, not in the promises, but in the PromisER. The same God that made a covenant with Abram in Genesis that demonstrated his faithfulness that if the promise He spoke to Abram did not come to pass then he'd be 'cut in half' as the cattle had been! Nothing is impossible for the Lord- and when we put our eyes on Him we can't help but rejoice because He is so good. When we place Him in the center of everything, suddenly peace overwhelms us- even as we may still be weary travelers on a steep road or in a pain-filled valley, He produces an unshakable confidence in us that He is there and will work all the details out for our good and His glory, amen!

"Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life," Philippians 4:7 msg.

Steve will be returning to the Mayo clinic in 3 weeks- please pray the mediciation continues to produces positive effects- Steve's pain decreases. Please also pray for us as we cope with the negative side effects of the medication. Lastly, pray that our meeting this Friday around disability coverage would produce some financial help for Steve to continue to have the time and space to recover.

Thank you for your prayers and we pray you will look to the PromisER today!

Peace & Love,

Casey & Steve Groff

Starting 2012 in a New Way

Steve with the prayer quilt an amazing church made for him!

Happy New Year!

Steve and I, although exhautsed from our short and fast trip to the Mayo Clinic this week have been overwhlemed by God's blessings, provision, care for us and overall character as we enter into 2012. We spent a majority of our car ride to the clinic sharing stories of God's miraculous provision for us and praising Him for all that He has done in 2011 in us and through us. In fact we got to spend much of December sharing our stories and testimonies to family, friends and strangers to encourage them and remind them of God's goodness. We are so excited to report a couple of 'new things' as we enter into this new year. First, we cried out to the Lord and shared with all of you our desperation as we looked to the month of December and saw a lot of new difficulties ahead (i.e. Steve's disability claim exhausted, my work fundraising deadline and returning to the Mayo clinic for a trip we did not even understand after our Thanksgiving trip). In this past month we have received so much love, encouragement and support from so many of you, even some we have never met before and we thank God that He uses people to be vessels of His love here on earth! In fact, Steve and I are starting 2012 with all hospital bills in our possession for 2011 paid off in full! Praise God! We had to start this update by praising Him not only for His abundant gifts and blessings but for what this shows all of us about His character- that God is good to us all of the time! Even when we don't see it, feel it, or  understand it- He cares so lovingly for His children.

The Trip....

We made it to the clinic in time for Steve's appointment and were surprised to receive such a detailed plan for a hopefully full recovery. The headache specialist/neurologist we saw confirmed the diagnosis we received in November but added a lot of detail and information to it! Steve received 2 shots in his head (steroid/nerve blocker shots) and left with a lot of medication to treat and prevent his head and neck pain. Although this doctor said the diagnosis and what he is now treating Steve for does not explain all of Steve's symptoms or the size/shape of the lesions on Steve's brain, he is hopeful that Steve can be out of pain or at least on the path towards no pain in a matter of months. We left with new medications, dietary restrictions and appointments scheduled again in 6 weeks for both follow-up, a course of 30 shots (please pray insurance approves these!) and bio-feedback testing. As you can imagine we were relieved and excited to have a course of action but also a little too aware of the doctor's claim that in 6 months Steve should be on a regular course of medication that should eventually treat his pain.

What now?

We have some very specific prayer requests that we are ending this update with:

1.) That Steve's body responds to this new medication/treatment and we would not have to continue changing new medication (also for the detox off of current pain meds Steve will have to go through if these meds begin to reduce his pain)

2.) The new medication does not cause too severe of side effects including extreme weight loss

3.) Insurance: Please pray that insurance approves this shot therapy as it has very successful results

4.) Disability Insurance: Please pray that God directs us in this long process as we apply/ seek financial coverage for Steve as he recovers (that he would be free to simply recover and not have to go back to work as he goes through this process).

5.) The next 6 weeks: Please pray for us- strength, endurance and fresh faith as the last 24 hours have been very hard on us coming home and as Steve goes off of caffeine and onto new meds/ Please also pray for the details for our next trip back to the clinic in 6 weeks...

We know that was A LOT of information but we are constantly asked for more details so we figured we'd hold nothing back this time! Thanks again for following this blog and keeping  up to date with prayer requests for us- we could not have made it to the place we are now without the community God has blessed us with over these past 15 months....

"See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland," Isaiah 43:19.

Praying you will be blessed abundantly in 2012!

Love,

Casey & Steve Groff